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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Wherein I get a small award

Today, the Children's Book Council of Australia presented its Notable Books list. My The Monster Maintenance Manual was listed as one of the notable books of 2010 for Younger Readers. It was always going to be difficult to get even that far, given that I didn't really fit the categories, and there was an excellent field, so that was as far as I got, but at least the publishers get to affix a sticker to the book.
During the day, I came up with an excellent new theory: dragons hate chocolate.  Consider: every person I know loves chocolate, and none of them has ever been attacked by a dragon.  It follows that all the chocolate haters have been eaten by dragons, which shy off at the mere hint of the cocoa bean.  Nobody alive has ever seen a dragon, because since the chocolate haters have been eliminated, there has been no food for dragons, and they have all moved to another planet.

Don't stop eating the chocolate, because if they come back, you will be dragon droppings, quicker than you can say "brown bread!"
This is what I mean about where ideas come from.  I estimate that if I can come up with 31 other theories like this, I can have an entertaining book.  If I don't think of any others, I will write a popular diet book about the central role of theobromine as an antidraconic agent.

This will reap me a fortune, because it tells people to eat something they like, but dresses the advice up in New Age gibberish.

Note: the above text is entirely fictitious, and any similarity to any existing dietary manuals is purely coincidental.

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