Winter versicles

I've been posting these to Facebook: might as well give them a permanent home. No, I'm not a poet, but I used to know one.

Winter whinge

I'd rather have a splinter

Stuck in my big toe

Than live a day in winter

For winter will not go.

Winter growl

I wanted to say what I think about winters

To tell the whole story, by hook or by crook —

But then I was told that the nasty old printers

Won't let me use those words in their sort of book.

Winter grizzle

Every poet winter fears:

It freezes their poetic ears,

Poets moan in winter time

Of seasons when it's hard to rhyme.

They loathe the fierce and chilly blows

That frizzilate a poet's nose,

They rant and rail at polar winds

That mortify a poet's shinds.

Every poet hates the winter

Winter forces poets into

Ugg boots, jumpers, woolly socks,

Beanies for their tangled locks . . .

Every poet winter fears,

Then spring comes in and interferes!

All the poets love their springs

That rhyme with sings and swings and strings.

Last of the winter whine

I've had enough

Of winter's rough

And ready hold

On wind and cold.

I hate the storm

Just give me warm

Fresh air and fun

And summer sun.