What is better than a Swiss Army Knife?

I will come to that in a moment.  First, let me say that we made it up Mt Pilatus today. I will say more of this later, but here is some proof:

Pilatus Kulm, complete with zig-zagging track, scree slope and folded beds. A rather better shot will appear in a future book.

But what is better than a Swiss Army knife?  A Swiss Army band!

Chris was feeling a bit poorly, so we set out to buy her a hat.  Just a peaked cap, like the one I bought near the Bourbaki Panorama (another story to tell one day), just SF 11 of shopping therapy, and we had agreed to go quietly.  "Unless," I said, "we come across a Swiss oompah band in the streets and feel compelled to dance.

This is a Swiss Army Band, and it is better than a Swiss Army Knife.  You can't quite dance to them, and they are deadly.  Here is why:

Alp horns (so-called), in fact disguised artillery that scared the pants off Napoleon (to Josephine's delight,
but that's another story).

They may look harmless:

Harmless enough...

But wait until you look down one!

I gave these the professional once-over, and a wizened old soldier saw my knowing wince.  He plucked my sleeve ad drew me to one side, then led me into a back alley, where he showed me these:

"Zis is why we are never invaded," he told me, with a gap-toothed old  soldier's grin.  "We possess ze world's only supply of weapons of mass distraction."