The Fancelli sisters were devastated recently when their landlord put up the rent on their shop. They have had a successful time over the last twelve months, but now they have been forced to move on. Regular readers may recall that the sisters originally ran their castle museum, until they were forced out by a malicious council by-laws inspector.
Now an even more savage blow has fallen upon them. They left their castle in despair and opened up a corner store and coffee shop, while continuing with a few of their more prized sidelines, like their herb-enriched tomato sauce, second-hand goods, seedlings and some most unusual home-made and highly illegal liqueurs. It was the liqueurs which were their undoing, as the landlord discovered what they were doing, and tried to blackmail them. Being women of principle, the sisters left, taking almost everything with them: the prawn heads under the floor boards are something we need not go into …
Now they have taken over a bankrupt gymnasium in the middle of our suburb's shopping centre, and set up their business there. They have evicted the Coke machine, but the taller Miss Fancelli is continuing her tradition of drastic tea-brewing. Over the past year, the shorter Miss Fancelli has become a true master of the espresso coffee machine, in between offering sculpture and plumbing courses for the elderly at the local technical college.
I am delighted to be able to bring my readers news of the world's first fluid-computer wall-mounted coffee machine and sculpture, which is now beginning to take shape on the highest wall of the converted squash courts.
The essential principle is binary logic. As a fluid passes from the stem of a Y junction to the two upper arms, it will usually flow into one arm only, unless it is given a nudge, after which it flows into the other arm until nudges again. This simple bistable unit forms the basis of the coffee machine, with sensors shunting weak coffee back through the grounds, and others pushing cool coffee back through a heating unit.
That, at least, was the starting point. With the Fancellis, nothing stays simple for long, and the logic units started to multiply. They replaced the original pipes with clear glass, added more controls to maintain a supply of hot filtered water, fitted a solar-powered peristaltic pump, and began to plot serious computing power. By the end of the year, they expect to have something with about the same power and usefulness as the first Altair microcomputer, but a great deal more aesthetic charm.
At the moment, they have to use mains power to drive the pump on cloudy days and after dark, but they have hinted to me that they are working on a couple of pleasing solutions. Given that their favourite movie is The African Queen, I suspect that it will involve steam in some form.
Other related matters:
The Giant Dung Beetle
The Yandackworroby Cup
The Yandackworroby Pub
The Fancelli sisters' castle
The Fancelli sisters' store
Bringing in the polyestas
No comments:
Post a Comment