Carrying on with the wildlife

For those of you who have just arrived in this universe, I am a trained botanist and zoologist, and wildlife is my thing.

It is spring here in Australia, and everything is boiling over, bursting into bloom and stuff, and I have been leading friends, relations and the general public on wildlife tours.

Now a bit of background: I enjoy pulling legs, and several years ago, Chris and I were having lunch at a boatshed on Akuna Bay. Having been there before, I asked for some crusts to feed the fish.

We were watched by some American tourists who clearly had their wits about them. So when one asked if I knew the names of the fish, I sagely advised them that fortuitously, I did. "What are their names?"

I pointed: "Alfred over there, Mary, Bessie and Albert." Then,  laughter subsiding, I said I was a far better botanist, but even there, I sometimes failed to know a name: botanical biodiversity is an Australian thing, and when anybody asked me the name of a plant I did not know,  my response was always 'Albert'. 

The other day, while leading a tour along a steel track in a swamp, a lady alerted me that there was a diamond python beside the track. I asked my party to walk quietly, and got my shot before ushering them through.

"Will it bite?" several nervous ones asked.

"No," I said. "That's Albert!"

Assured that the snake had a name, they all walked through, past it.

Ho hum, one more tour tomorrow, then I can get back to this sort of thing. which is my latest hobby: